i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
