So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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