If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
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