he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize