? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
