Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
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