Do vagina's smell?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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