dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
It's just like the Real World with babies
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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