she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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