youre lurking in front of me
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
