maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I think your dad took our porno
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
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