Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Randomize