Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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