Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
