Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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