why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
