I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
