Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
