So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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