She's JV to your varsity
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
