Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
