He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I need moral support for this bender
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
