just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
