I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
