He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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