Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize