do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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