So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
