They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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