Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
