I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
