fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
