So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
