then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
