Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
