i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
