i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
