good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize