If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
