3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Randomize
