Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
