I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Liz is crying about burritos again.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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