Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
