i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
