New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
