One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize