I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
