Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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