Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
