now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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