I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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