I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize