i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
