Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Are my feet made of real feet?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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