you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
did i walk over a car last night?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
