I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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