his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
