i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
