Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Randomize
