apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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