If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
