I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize