Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
