You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
