I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
