I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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