i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
