My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
So much Jack, so little girl.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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